I believe in fairy tales. I do. What you don’t believe me? Fantasies do come true! So the day before the big game, I want to dream a little dream for you!
What if Tim Tebow was playing in Super Bowl XLVI? I know the Florida Gator fans are loving me right now! Probably the first and last time they will ever love a Bulldawg.
To begin, media week would have been much more interesting. If you thought that the sports nets had wall to wall coverage from Indy, imagine if Timmy Terrific was playing on Super Bowl Sunday. I think a TV satellite would have fallen from the sky. Not to worry though, he would have risen from his “Kneel” to the “Lambeau Leap” faster than Superman outrunning a speeding train to save the day. I am not sure if reporters would have been talking to anyone else. They could have held the media interviews with him at Lucas Oil and every other member of his team and the Giants could have gone to Sullivan’s for a great steak.
The world have been so wrapped up in Tebowmania that churches might have actually had to adjust their services schedule. Some might have even brought in megatron projection TVs so that they could go straight from mass to the big game. Congregants would have brought chips and dips and tailgated in the parking lot. Of course, everyone would have been doing the “Tebow” and praying for a Broncos win.
As I was dreaming up this most unlikely scenario, I looked into the numbers. The quarterback match up we would have been enjoying instead of Brady v. Manning.
Eli Manning: 359 completions on 589 attempts for 4933 yards, 29 TDs, 16 INTs for a QB rating of 92.9. Giants 9-7 on the year.
Tim Tebow: 126 completions on 271 attempts for 1729 yards, 12 TDs, 6 INTs for a QB rating of 72.9. Broncos 8-8 on the year.
Yep those are some really impressive numbers for Timmy. The kind that inspire and bring awe to his opponents. Right?
So here is the thing that makes Tebow v. Manning so interesting to me. We all know about Tebow’s famous 29-23 overtime win over the Steelers. It was the kind of game that would have Barney Stinson saying, “Tim was legend, wait for it…dary!” In that game, the Bronco QB’s mystic grew because he threw for the magical number 316 yards. Even I wrote a clever headline about 316 in my column: Tebow Throws for 316. Coach is John. John 3:16. Do you believe?
But here is the thing, Tim is not the only magic man with the magic number.
Manning did it too. Did you know that? Did you hear about it? See clever headlines? See political cartoons linking Eli to 3:16? No? Neither did I.
Time to snap out of it. WAKE UP! Come to your senses. Manning did do it. Difference is, he did it in the NFC Championship Game. You know the one where if you win it, you get to play in the Super Bowl. Not only did Manning throw for 316 yards on the road against the 49ers, the Giants won the game in OT 20-17 to put Eli and the G-Men in the big game for the second time in four years.
Where will Tim be when Manning is vying for his second championship? Don’t know, but I know he will not be on the field, suited up and putting it all on the line.
So for anyone that even thought about what it would be like for Tebow to play in the Super Bowl. Dream. Play Fantasy Football. Break out Madden 12. Go old school and get out the electric football game, you know the one. The big, metal plug in jobber where you spend a lot of time setting up the players for them to vibrate all over the place with the quarterback holding a small piece of foam dancing around until he falls. Ah childhood memories.
So dream your little dream and remember this from your Uncle Bruce. The Broncos will never play in a Super Bowl with Tim Tebow playing quarterback. He will always have 316, just not a Super Bowl ring.
If you do enjoy fantasies, I invite you to make plans for the all new, expanded Fantasyland at Disney World. It opens in 2013 and will feature an all new Dumbo. Hmmmm…